In today’s digital age, it is effortless to come across social media posts that showcase extreme examples of domesticity. From the #tradwives and #SAHGs on Instagram glamorizing stay-at-home life to the wives in Dubai flaunting their luxury purchases, there is a recurring theme of one partner giving permission to the other. The notion of financial allowances in relationships is akin to a parent giving money to a child – a practice that belittles the recipient’s financial independence. Despite the widespread coverage and critique from financial professionals, social media often amplifies these extremes, leaving us to question the prevalence of such practices in real-life relationships.
Surprisingly, recent interviews conducted for a forthcoming book on love and money have revealed that some couples indeed use the term “allowance” in their financial discussions. Typically, this dynamic involves a male partner as the primary earner and a female partner responsible for the household and childcare. The concept of permission in spending decisions takes on a broader meaning, highlighting a lack of agency for women in financial matters and a power imbalance within the relationship. While the use of the term “allowance” may stem from a desire for security and control, its implications perpetuate stereotypes, widen the wealth gap, and undervalue the contributions made by stay-at-home partners.
Instead of relying on antiquated terminology that reinforces gender norms and unequal power dynamics, couples should prioritize open communication and mutual understanding in their financial decisions. Setting a check-in number, which serves as a threshold for joint spending decisions, can replace the need for permission with collaborative dialogue. This approach fosters trust, respect, and equality within the relationship, allowing both partners to have a say in their financial matters regardless of their individual incomes.
By establishing a shared framework for spending and decision-making, couples can navigate financial challenges with transparency and unity. The check-in number method enables partners to align on their financial goals and values, ensuring that both voices are heard and respected in the process. It eliminates the need for rigid allowances and empowers couples to make informed choices together, leading to a healthier and more equitable financial partnership.
The practice of financial allowances in relationships hinders growth, perpetuates inequality, and erodes trust over time. By shifting towards a model of open communication, mutual consent, and shared decision-making, couples can create a more harmonious and sustainable financial future. It’s time to move away from restrictive allowances and embrace a collaborative approach to managing money within relationships. After all, a solid financial foundation is built on trust, respect, and equality.
Leave a Reply